How do highly trained U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents search for illegal immigrants at McCarran International Airport? Here’s Lloyd Easterling, supervsiory agent in charge of the Yuma Sector, which includes Las Vegas, in the Review-Journal:

"Agents look for people whose manner is nervous or confused. Clothing and hygiene will also spark curiosity," he said.

Oh, come on, Supervisory Special Agent Easterling! This is McCarran International Airport we’re talking about here! It’s confusing from the time you try to get to the parking lot (watch the colored triangles merge!) to when you come home and try to figure out which merry-go-round has your bag (they change it even after they give you the first assignment, so watch out!).

Got anything else for us?

"For example, if clothes are dirty, like they haven’t been changed for days, or they have cactus needles sticking out," Easterling added.

Cactus needles? Seriously? Are we looking for illegal immigrants or Speedy Gonzales? Hey, you know what else is a dead giveaway? Sombreros and pinatas! Or at least cowboy hats and cervesas!

Boy, we sure feel safe.

» It looks like the Board of Regents of the Nevada System of Higher Education is prepared to change the name of the Community College of Southern Nevada (and the Western Nevada Community College) by dropping the word "community."

"We just want to be proud of our school," says student body President Presley Conkle. (Conkle has written pieces for CityLife, by the way, although not on this topic.)

Really? Well, if the awful stigma of the word "community" robs you of pride, when, we wonder, why did you enroll there in the first place? And if the academic program is solid — which it must be, since students have plenty of time to petition to change the school’s name — then why does in matter at all?

These questions weren’t really asked by the regents, who ought to go in for a name change of their own (we’re accepting suggestions! Send them to SSebelius@lvcitylife.com and we’ll publish the best ones in an upcoming blog. Remember, the meaner the better!). Instead, regents worried about whether or not "the mission" of the community college would be compromised…

…and then they promptly went ahead and OK’d a plan for the community college to partner with three schools in China in order to supply Las Vegas-based casino companies with gambling industry workers.

Oh, the hell with it. If the "Community" College of Southern Nevada has gone global, we may as well scotch the word "community."

» Quotable: "In meeting with patients at the clinic Friday, Gov. Gibbons said he learned that most of the addicts took drugs ‘not to get high, but to keep themselves from feeling bad.’" — from a Review-Journal story about Gibbons touring a drug treatment clinic founded by Miriam Adelson, wife of Venetian owner Sheldon Adelson.

We just don’t know sometimes…

» According to Las Vegas Sun columnist John Katsilometes, the mistress of ceremonies at Gibbons’ inaugural ball, Lia Roberts, blanked on the name of Lt. Gov. Brian Krolicki when introducing officials on Friday. We think she was fumbling for "nevăstuică," which she’d more easily recognize in her native Romanian as "weasel."

» And finally today, the big news of the day is that Gibbons bypassed Assemblyman Morse Arberry, D-Las Vegas, in favor of Las Vegas Councilman Lawrence Weekly to replace Clark County Commissioner Yvonne Atkinson Gates.

Weekly’s a good choice, although not as good as our pick, former state Sen. Joe Neal. (C’mon, Neal was a pioneer back in the day, and he’s principled as hell.) But Weekly’s done a good job representing his ward on the City Council, emerging from the shadow of a political battle that pitted Mayor Oscar Goodman against then-Councilman Michael McDonald. (McDonald favored Weekly and Orlando Sanchez, now the city’s director of neighborhood services, for two brand-new council seats; Goodman went along with Weekly but thwarted McDonald’s perceived grab for power by introducing Las Vegas to the open ethical sore that was ex-Councilman Michael Mack. Thanks, again, Mayor!)

So, congrats to Weekly, who’s leaving at the perfect time: Filing opened Jan. 23 for his Ward 5 seat, which means that, if the council picks somebody to fill Weekly’s shoes for the period between now at the municipal elections (primary day is April 3, with the runoff June 5) that person won’t really have the advantage of incumbency. Filing closes Friday, so anybody who wants to be a councilman and lives in Ward 5, now’s your chance!

CORRECTION: Our mistake: While Orlando Sanchez was the city’s director of neighborhood services for a time, he was promoted last year to the rank of deputy city manager. We regret the error.